Saying No to Unhelpful Advice

It’s a moment many guardians recognise. You’re out walking your dog, doing your best to maintain their sense of safety, when someone—sometimes a stranger, sometimes even a well-meaning acquaintance—offers unsolicited advice.

Perhaps they suggest you should “just be firmer,” recommend “more discipline,” or refer to outdated concepts like pack theory or the need to be "alpha."You smile politely. Nod. Perhaps offer a neutral comment. And then walk away feeling frustrated, sure of your choices — but still feeling that little sting.

I remember feeling exactly the same way with my own dog, Harry. There was a time when other people’s opinions about Harry would have upset me, but not anymore!

Supporting a sensitive, fearful, or reactive dog often means you have to be the advocate—not just for your dog, but for the way you’ve chosen to support them.

And that’s not always easy.

Why This Happens So Often

Dog training has come a long way, but outdated beliefs are still deeply entrenched. People often offer advice with the best intentions, believing they’re helping. But kind intentions don’t make advice right—or appropriate for your dog.

When you’re supporting a dog with big emotions, advice rooted in control, punishment, or dominance doesn’t just miss the mark—it can actively undermine the trust and progress you’ve worked so hard to build. And yet, many guardians find it hard to push back. You don’t want to cause conflict, and you might worry about being judged. That’s why having a few clear, calm responses ready can make all the difference.

Some Gentle Phrases to Keep

You don’t have to explain or justify your approach.
But if you choose to respond, here are a few phrases that might help:

“We’re working with a behaviour professional who really understands him—thank you though.”

“She’s doing really well at her own pace, and we’re proud of that.”

“He finds some things tricky, so we’re focusing on helping him feel safe right now.”

“We’re sticking with a kind, science-based approach because it’s really helping her.”

Or simply: “Thanks, but we’re happy with how we’re doing things.”

You don’t need to persuade anyone.

Your priority is to protect the emotional space you and your dog have built together.

Boundaries Create Safety for You Too

It’s easy to focus so much on creating safety for your dog that you forget you deserve that same sense of safety and confidence too. Setting boundaries—around advice, around who gets to interact with your dog, around the places you visit—isn’t unkind. It’s an act of care.

It’s a way of protecting the emotional safety of both you and your dog. That might look like:

• Choosing walking routes that feel quieter and less stressful
• Saying no to playdates that you know won’t be a good fit
• Trusting your gut when something doesn’t feel right

Permission to Put Your Dog First

It’s okay to prioritise your dog’s wellbeing—even when it means disappointing others.
It’s okay to hold firm in your choices.
And It’s okay to speak up, kindly but clearly, when someone offers advice that doesn’t align with your values.

Every time you advocate for your dog, you’re strengthening your bond.
You’re showing them that you’ve got their back.

And in doing so, you’re creating the kind of relationship that no training method can ever replace: one built on trust, safety, and mutual respect.