Curiosity in Action: What Happens If You Don’t Fill the Silence?

This is the third post in the Curiosity in Action series, each one exploring a small question that might help you see your dog’s behaviour in a new way.

When we’re trying to support a sensitive or anxious dog, it’s natural to want to do something. We might talk to them, offer food, call their name, or redirect them quickly, especially if we’re worried they’re about to react. And sometimes, those responses are helpful.

But other times, the most supportive thing we can offer is... nothing at all.

Because silence—real, spacious, attentive silence—can give us access to something that’s easy to miss when we’re busy managing behaviour:what the dog is already trying to show us.

Why We Rush to Fill the Gaps

For many guardians, silence feels uncomfortable. It can feel like inaction, or like we’re not doing enough. But often, what we’re reacting to is our own sense of urgency, not the dog’s needs in that moment.In the absence of noise or movement, we’re left with a lot more space to notice:

How the dog is breathing
Where they’re looking
What posture they’re holding
Whether they’re taking in the environment or shrinking away from it

When we slow down and stop filling in all the space, we give our dog the chance to communicate, without interruption.
And we give ourselves the chance to actually listen.

Real-Life Example: The Moment You Waited

Picture this: you’ve just walked into a new environment, maybe a different trail, a friend’s garden, or a quiet green space. Your dog stops near the edge. They’re not pulling to explore, but they’re not trying to leave either.

You’re not sure if they’re ready.

It’s easy to jump in with something: a word of encouragement, a treat, or a prompt to move forward. But what if, just for a moment, you didn’t?

What if you stood still, quiet, and just breathed?

In that pause, you might notice your dog gently sniff the air. You might see their ears shift slightly, or their weight move forward just a little. Or maybe they stay exactly where they are, blinking slowly and settling in place.Those moments are full of information.

Silence Isn’t Doing Nothing

Holding space isn’t the same as doing nothing. It’s an intentional choice to pause, to observe before stepping in, and to give your dog time to process what’s happening around them, if it feels safe to do so.

That time to process is important.

Dogs, especially those who are anxious, sensitive, or uncertain, often need a little more space to take in new information before they feel ready to respond. When we rush in, we can interrupt that process. But when we pause, we often see more thoughtful, engaged responses start to emerge.

Silence allows for:

Time to take in the environment
A chance to adjust emotionally and physically
Opportunities for your dog to decide what feels safe or manageable

It’s in those quiet gaps that we often see the beginnings of something meaningful, a dog choosing to move forward, to connect, to explore, or to say, “not yet.”Next time you feel the urge to step in quickly, try pausing and asking:

What is my dog showing me in their body right now?
Am I stepping in because my dog needs help or because I feel like I should do something?
What happens if I just wait?
Does my dog show me something different when I leave more space?

And of course, sometimes our dogs really do need us to step in and support them. It’s not about waiting for the sake of it, it’s about knowing when space is helpful, and when safety means taking action.

You don’t always need to say something, offer something, or step in straight away.

Sometimes, what makes the biggest difference is simply being there, quiet, steady, and willing to wait.Because when we don’t rush to fill the silence, we make room for something else to emerge:
understanding, trust, and choice.